Reflections on friendship

Catching up with some people I haven't seen in a while recently, has made me reflect on friendship and what it means to the modern day mum. 

Thankfully, I am blessed to have some great friends that live locally. These friends are predominantly mothers themselves. They understand when I turn up to school looking pale and drawn, they understand when I cry outside the school gates, they understand why I have a face of thunder sometimes, they understand I need coffee to keep me going. They know these things because they are living through the challenges of motherhood too. They are often my lifeline through lonely days and are the people I turn to to reassure me that I am not the crappiest mum in the world! 

Then I have 3 treasured friends who are no longer close by. These friends are people I have known for a long while - they are so very precious to me and knew me before I became a mummy (they are also mums now). We have had such special times together and I know they are always there if I need them. I will always be there for them too, no matter where they live...even if it is the other side of the world! I love them dearly and miss them like crazy! Plus, it goes without saying - it's always the same when we see each other, no matter how long it's been.

Naturally, there is my family - my first friends. There forever, without conditions. They know me too well! 
Weirdly, social media friends play a part in my life too. These may be people I don't often / ever see, perhaps old school mates, old colleagues. They are generally supportive and it's great to be able to share in each other's life successes - new babies, marriages, new jobs, travel etc - even if it is 'virtually.' 

Thinking about friendship also makes me consider toxic friends - those who you are connected to but who just can't be happy for you. They never recognise when you need extra support, they talk about you behind your back, they don't encourage you in new endeavours. At this point in my life, I have no room in my heart for these people. Time is so precious - why waste it trying to please people who will never return the effort you make? My advice in this case is gradual retreat - slowly distance yourself and see this process as cleansing and freeing. 

Friends are so important - they brings smiles, laughter, support, love, tears and help you to remember that life isn't perfect. Crap happens but that's ok - friends will help you to pick up the pieces and you in turn, will pick up theirs!  

So....grab that coffee, pick up the phone, send that text, write that letter. Remind your true friends how glad you are that they are in your life.



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